Movies of Next Month: April 2009

You know you can’t judge a book by its cover; a movie on the other hand prejudge away. In fact, that’s what I’m doing judging movies that come out in April by their trailers, plots, or history.

Fast & Furious: I’m not a fan of the franchise. I haven’t seen any of the movies so I don’t have much to comment on. I do however would like to comment on the title. Calling the film “Fast & Furious” is very stupid. I’m not in marketing but I wouldn’t give the film a title that is very close to the title of the original which is called “The Fast and the Furious”. It wouldn’t really be a problem right now since anyone can tell that this is a sequel because this is in theaters and the original is on DVD but years later when somebody decides to rent “The Fast and the Furious” they might end up renting this instead or vice-versa. Release date: 04/03/09

Dragonball Evolution: Here’s a movie that looks completely stupid. The story is stupid, the effects look stupid, and the casting looks stupid. I’m not a fan of the show but I have a friend who is, and he thinks this looks bad. Also the title makes it sound like its a bad sequel instead of a bad original. After all this negativity I will have to say that I will probably won’t see it. The only way I’m seeing this is if it got good reviews and if it did it would be the surprise of the year. Release date: 04/08/09

Observe and Report: What the Heck!? Two films about mall cops in 4 months? Before this year I haven’t heard of any films about Mall Cops but now there’s two films about them. I think there’s something going on; somebody’s ripping off someone else. I mean in Observe and Report; he’s an idiotic mall cop just like in Paul Blarts, his love interest is a girl that works at a beauty stand just like in Paul Blarts, and there’s even a scene in a trailer where it looks like he’s trying out to be a cop just like in Paul Blarts. I don’t know who’s ripping off whom so I won’t accuse this movie of ripping off Paul Blarts or vice-versa, but it’s just kind of weird. It was like in 2006 when those two movies about magicians came out around the same time. On the movie itself I have to say that it looks like the R-rated version of Paul Blarts: Mall Cop. Might be good might not just have to see to find out. Release Date: 04/10/09.

Hannah Montana the Movie: A movie about an overrated pop culture sensation! Not seeing it. Release Date: 04/10/09

Crank High Voltage: Crank High Voltage looks like the unintentional comedy of the year; this movie will make science cry, and people walk out of the theater cursing themselves because they thought that it would be a good movie. Poor imbeciles. Release Date: 04/17/09

17 Again: this doesn’t look like the type of movie I would enjoy so I would not be seeing this film. I do have to comment that the film is unrealistic in saying that Zac Effron looks like a young version of Matthew Perry. Release Date: 04/17/09 (yes 17 Again is coming out on the 17th how funny)

State of Play: This movie hasn’t really made an impression on me. Might be good might not; I don’t know. Release Date: 04/17/09

The Soloist: I think this movie might be an interesting Drama, might be good. Release Date: 04/24/09

Obsessed: Obsessed is about an office worker who starts getting stalked by his assistant and his wife isn’t taking it anymore, so cat fights ensue. It’s probably safe to say that this film is going to suck. Release Date: 04/24/09

The Informers: I couldn’t tell anything about this movie from the trailer so I decided to look up the synopsis online. The synopsis said that this movie is about a week in LA in 1983 following a Rock star, Studio Exec, and a Vampire. What the hell? Release Date: 04/24/09

Overall it doesn’t seem like a good movie month. There’s not really any movies I’m anticipating to see,but there’s some I don’t want see.

Movies of the Month: February 2009

Before, in my blog I would do individual reviews on the movies that I have seen. I realized that was very time consuming and with most of the movies I don’t have much to comment on. Instead I’m going to do “Movies of the Month” where at the end of the month I do short reviews of each movie I saw during the month. I’m only reviewing movies that I see in theaters.

Taken: This is a pretty generic action film. It’s pretty much about a spy whose daughter gets kidnapped so he gets her back. This film is a bit clichéd and a little cheesy, but it actually isn’t that ridiculous. A lot of Bond wannabes are totally ridiculous (Transporter 3) but this is actually more realistic then most others. Also it was entertaining enough.

3 out of 5 stars

Paul Blarts Mall Cop: yes I saw this and to be honest it was surprisingly good. Sure there may be a part or two that was stupid but this isn’t really a bad film. It wasn’t hilarious but it had enough humorous parts to make it entertaining. It’s plot isn’t really well thought out and I could’ve written this movie drunk, but as for stupid movies go this is actually pretty good. It didn’t have to go to vulgar humor to be funny, it just went on good old fashion fun. I don’t know why people gave it such bad reviews. Maybe they expected too much, I on the other hand lowered the bar far down for this movie and it jumped so much higher then the bar. It’s pretty good for a PG rated parody of an R-rated flick. (This movie’s actually a parody of Die Hard)

3 1/2 out of 5 stars

The International: When I saw the trailer I thought this was going to be a mindless action flick, but in truth it’s the opposite. It’s actually a very smart crime thriller. It had a smartly written plot but the problem with it is that it was on the edge of boring. It takes so long for something to happen and when stuff doesn’t happen it is monotonous. The best way to describe this movie is a comparison. This movie’s like a lecture on a subject you don’t really care about but you’re listening anyway because if you don’t you’ll miss something.

2 1/2 out of 5

Underworld Rise of the Lycans: This is the last film I saw in February and the only reason I saw it was that my brother and I wanted to see a movie and it was the only one that had a showing convenient to the schedule. It is a terrible movie. The acting is horrible, the story isn’t put together well, the characters are bland, and it is filled with stupid moments. The special effects for this film look like they come out of a video game. In fact this film has a plot that is as bad as the plot of most games. The only difference is that games redeem themselves by having good game play while this doesn’t have any game play because it’s a movie. If I could’ve written the script for Paul Blarts drunk then I’ll have to say that if I got drunk, got high, and had half of my brain removed I could still write a movie better than this.

1 1/2 out of 5

In retrospect I didn’t really see anything great this month. I hope next month is better.

Best List Possible Nominees: The best movie I saw this month (Paul Blarts Mall Cop) was good but it won’t make my best movie list because I’ll definitely see 13 better films then Paul Blarts Mall Cop.

Worst List Possible Nominees: Definitely Underworld rise of the Lycans and maybe the International.