Transporter 3 Review

"Warning to avoid spoilers go to the bottom of this post to see what I rated it"

I've never been a fan of the Transporter franchise and this movie got bad reviews. The only reason I saw this was the whole "there's nothing else out" scenario.

The movie starts with Frank Martin the transporter out in his home and then a car crashes through his wall. It's one of his friends that he recommended for a job. Apparently his friend was suppose to transport the daughter of a powerful politician so the politician would have to sign a bill that would let boats of toxic waste through to their country.So the friend gets taken in an ambulance and then the ambulance blows up. Frank Martin is then knocked out and captured by the bad guys. The main villain (whose name I forgot) forces Frank to take up the job of transporting the girl to wherever they need to transport her. They also put a bracelet on Frank and the girl. What the bracelet does is if you get far enough away from the car the bracelet explodes ( it's like house arrest but deadly). So Frank and the girl are on the road trip (The girl does have a name but she only said it once and it was something very complicated and foreign), the girl's main job is to withhold the plot and talk about her favorite dinner. While on the road trip Frank decides to take a detour to a friend that would remove the explosive bracelet. The bad guys unfortunately find out that he went on a detour and they find him at the friend's shop. There Frank fights 8 men and doesn't even get hurt, maybe they would have a chance of beating him if they didn't go on attacking one at a time. I mean are they really just standing there and after he defeats one of them another one say " okay Joel just went it's your turn Bob". That right there is one of the most overused action movie cliched ever. Another cliche used in the scene is the big guy. Yes that's right after Frank beat up 8 men then a really big guy where the worst dialogue in the entire movie is said:

Frank: "are you the smart one?"
Big Guy: " No I'm the the big one"

Come on there's so many other things that could be said such as:

Frank: "are you the smart one?"
Big Guy: "yes"

Or

Frank: " here comes the big one"
Big Guy: " can somebody describe something about me other then my size for once?"

You could have even used the same dialogue but some expression would have made it better.

Frank: " are you the smart one?"
Big Guy (annoyed): " no I'm the big one"

Anyway Frank of course beats the big one, but his friend is unable to take off the bracelet making this scene just an excuse for an action sequence. One road trip and a couple action sequences later they're finally at their destination. Here they have the final battle on a train and of course Frank is able to defeat the villain and get the girl. Why in these brainless action films the main villain takes longer to defeat then his henchmen?

In conclusion it's another brainless action movie, I think two is enough for this month. It is actually a little better then suspected but I'll probably end up forgetting this film sometime soon making it not stand out whatsoever. I'll give it:

1 1/2 out of 5.

I'm just waiting for a good movie to come out soon.

Twilight Review

"Warning to avoid spoilers go to the bottom of this post just to read what I rated it"

Twilight is based on one of the most popular books around called Twilight ( of course). I've read the book and I thought it was just adequate. It was highly addicting but with a handful of problems. My feelings are mutual on the movie even though it was enjoyable but it had it share of problems.

Now Twilight is about the romance between a girl name Bella and a Vampire named Edward. The movie does share some of the problems with the book but it had some problems of it's own. Like in the book I don't like how they kill Vampire; according to Twilight the only way to kill a vampire is tear them up into pieces and set the pieces on fire. Why make the way to kill vampire something so complicated, graphic and stupid. Another problem that the movie shares with the book is that Edward seems so stalkerish. I mean Edward watches Bella when she sleeps and she doesn't even know he was there, now that's creepy.

The movie as I said earlier does have some problems of its own. If you watch this movie you'll probably laugh a couple of times. Some of these times you'll laugh are intentional but some of them are unintentional. Like at the end where Bella is being hunted down by a bad vampire and the bad vampire injects venom into Bella so Edward has to suck it out. Now this was suppose to be a dramatic serious scene but the facial expression Edward made during this scene made me impossible to keep a strait face. There's another scene where Edward is driving past Billy ( A native American from a tribe that turns into Werewolves) and Billy gives him a look of disgust, well he tries to give him a look of disgust what he really gives him is a look that looks like a toddler about to throw a temper tantrum. Actually there is something else wrong with this scene that a lot of people probably didn't notice. Let me explain it to you; Edward is driving down on the left side of the road in an American car so he's on the right side of his car, Chief Billy is driving on the right side of the road also in a American so he's on the left side of this car and they meet eye to eye. The problem here is that the fact that Chief Billy is in a wheelchair. So he couldn't have driven making this scene therefore impossible, I can't believe I was able to catch this continuity and as I said before I'm probably one of the few who noticed this.

Now what a lot of people complain about in this movie is the actress who played Bella. Now I didn't really mind her but I did mind some of the other people's acting such as the actor who played Charlie. It was funny when Bella had to leave her father and she had to say mean things to him so she can get away with Edward to escape the bad Vampire named James. When Bella gets in the car she says that she was hurt by the look of Charlie's face, you mean the same facial expression he had the entire film. Now I just have to talk about the final fight scene. Just as I said there's a vampire named James who wants to suck Bella's blood so he confronts her and starts attacking her until Edward comes and saves her. This isn't how it happened in the book, in the book James knocks Bella out then Edward comes in and has his brothers Jasper and Emmet take James in the other room and kill him; how anti climatic. In the movie Edward was able to pin James down and then Edward's coven comes in and starts a fire where they kill James. Even though it was a big improvement it still seems not that heroic and seems like a gang of bullies beating up one guy (even though James sort of deserved it). Now I know I talked about this earlier but I can't stretch it enough the way they kill vampires in Twilight is stupid. I mean the first thing they do to James is they rip off his head and throw it in the fire. Now that should of just killed him and all they had to do was to throw the rest of the body in the fire, but no they continue to tear him to pieces. You know the way to kill a vampire should have been decapitation, fire or both not this crap.

Even though I complained about this film a lot it was still an enjoyable film, the editing was good and it was shot in a nice stylish way. Also it was a lot better then most of the films targeted towards teenage girls. I liked that they didn't succumbed to what's supposedly hip and have awful songs done by artists that got their start from Disney. I even liked the movie a little better then the book so I give this movie:

2 out of 5 stars

Quantum of Solace Review

"Warning to avoid spoilers go to the bottom of this post and read what I rated the film"

Two years ago we were treated to a great 5 star worthy film called "Casino Royale" the latest movie in the James Bond franchise. Casino Royale was just great; it had great story, great action and great editing. Quantum of Solace is the direct sequel to this film and does it live up to it. I have to say....no. It was an inferior film. This film is about James Bond going to avenge his lover in Casino Royale. He soon learns that the it was done by a huge environmental organization ( she must have littered). This results in countless action scenes, these scene are not a cool as the ones in Casino Royale but they're still pretty cool.

Now let's talk about what are the weaknesses of this film. The story in this film is not even as good as the one of its predecessor which was expected. But I didn't expect the parts of unoriginality in this film. The most obvious one is when Bond discovers one of his Bond Girls laid dead across the bed covered in oil; like we never seen a bond girl dead across a bed being drenched in a valuable resource (If you don't know what I mean then watch Goldfinger). The less obvious one was when Bond had a bad guy on the edge of a building and the bad guy attacks bond but ends up falling off. That was already done in "The Spy Who Loved Me". Now another thing that bothered me was the fact that Bond went to so many different places. In the first ten minutes he went to about 6 places. That wouldn't of bothered me except it made the story just tear itself into pieces. The movie ends as expected where Bond defeats the bad guy and saves the day, After he does this he does his famous scene where you're looking down a barrel of a gun and Bond comes in and shoots at you and then blood pours down from the screen. When this happened I couldn't help but to think "you're two hours late moron".

Even though the film had it share of problems it was still satisfying and the editing was still great. Overall this film is just an brainless action Bond film with not much story to it, but because it was made in the same style as Casino Royale it is better then most of the other brainless action Bond Films. So I give it:

2 out of 5 stars

Welcome to Sabertooth Reviews

Hello the Mellow Filmaker here, just introducing you to my new blog called Sabertooth Reviews. Now as a person I'm mellow in everything except entertainment. Yes this blog is a critic blog where I review movies, make top 13 lists and even rant about a genre that seems to be the latest craze. To start off this blog I'm going to review the last two movies I've seen; Quantum of Solace and Twilight.