13. Oil Finger (Quantum of Solace): One of the most famous scenes of all the Bond films was in Gold Finger when James Bond discovers a bond girl dead across the bed covered in gold. Quantum of Solace the newest bond film James Bond discovers a bond girl dead across the bed covered in oil. Now this scene is suppose to be a joke saying that oil is the new gold. I don’t mean to bash the writers but I don’t think the discovery of a dead person is an appropriate time to make jokes. Also the oil is the new gold joke is now dated since gas prices have lowered. They tried to pay homage but instead embarrassed themselves.
12. Hulk throw far (Incredible Hulk): The Incredible hulk wasn’t a bad film but it had its moments. One of those moments came at the beginning where the army sent a team of specialist after the Hulk. The Hulk picks up a giant metal crate and then throws it at on of the specialist. Now usually when somebody throws something at someone the scene is only a few seconds long but not in the Incredible Hulk. In this film the specialist runs while the crate is thrown in the air towards him and follows him for two minutes.
11. Magnetic Pea (Be Kind Rewind): In Be Kind Rewind a character played by Jack Black sneaks into a power plant and gets zapped. He then gets magnetized and all metal objects go towards him. A day later he pees in the street and the pee is flowing through the street magnetized and is green. That’s pretty dumb.
10. Excellent Phone Reception (Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D): In Journey to the center of the earth 3D an explorer and his nephew travel to the center of the earth. While in the center guess what happens. The nephew’s mom calls him on a cell phone and he picks up the phone and answer. What phone service do they use? What phone service is so good that their phones can get signals in the center of the earth?
9. Catty sack (Don’t mess with the Zohan): Don’t Mess with the Zohan is a very silly film and some of the silly jokes are funny. But there’s one scene where Zohan and one of his friends is playing hacky sack with a cat. This scene has no relevance to the plot and isn’t funny. It’s just weird.
8. Magic Trick (The Dark Knight): The Dark Knight is a great film with good editing, good acting, and good story. Most people say it’s the best film of 2008 which I disagree. But I do have to say that the Dark Knight had one of the most original and creative scenes of the year. It’s when the Joker is talking to the mobsters and one of the mobsters tells his goon to rip the Joker’s head off. The Joker sticks a pencil on the table and says “how about a magic trick, I will make this pencil disappear”. The goon runs at the Joker and the Joker grabs his head and slams in on the pencil. The Pencil goes into his eye. That’s not the strange part; the strange part is that it was the dull end of the pencil. I have a talent for predicting what happens in movies which made most of the Joker’s plans not surprising but the pencil scene just completely surprised me.
7. Soup heals famine (Tales of Despereaux): In tales of Despereaux there’s a kingdom that use to obsess over soup. Then the queen died because a rat fell in her soup. The king then banned soup from the entire kingdom. The kingdom then falls into a huge depression where it never rained. At the end of the movie the head chief finally says screw the law I’m making soup. When this happens all the people in the kingdom smell the soup and everyone’s happy. It doesn’t stop there the smell of the soup goes into the sky and it starts raining. I didn’t know soup was the answer to drought and famine. That’s our answer to global warming; we need to make more soup.The movie was still good but the soup thing was pretty stupid. Also the book was better mostly because it wasn’t as much about soup. (Note: how many times soup was used in this paragraph: 12)
6. I’m the big one (Transporter 3): Transporter 3 is a very ridiculous movie. The most ridiculous part comes after the fight scene where our hero Frank Martin beats up 10 guys and then a really big guy comes in and here’s what they said.Frank Martin: Are you the smart one?
Big Guy: No I’m the big one.
Worst dialogue of the entire year, that’s pretty much like having the big guy come in and say:
Big Guy: Hello I’m the big guy that comes in after you defeat a bunch of average size guys to give you a hard time for a couple of minutes.
5. Retards (Tropic Thunder): Not all weird and stupid film moments have to happen in the film. Sometimes it what people say outside of the film that makes no sense. Like the controversy surrounding the movie Tropic Thunder. Now if you think that Tropic Thunder caused controversy you’re probably thinking “oh people are complaining that Robert Downy Jr. is playing an African American”. But no people are complaining saying that the film is offensive to the retarded (they should know). In the film Ben Stiller does play an actor who played a retarded person named Simple Jack but they didn’t like go over the top with it and it’s very subtle. That makes me think that there’s a controversy committee that find things to complain about. Here’s how their meeting went:Committee Member #1: we haven’t really complained about something for a long time so we need to find something to complain about.
Committee Member #2: hey there’s a movie called Tropic Thunder coming out let’s find something to complain about that.
Committee Member #1: how about we complain that Robert Downy Jr. is playing an actor playing a black guy.
Committee Member #2: no that would be too predictable.
Committee Member #1: well Ben Stiller is playing an actor who played a retarded man in one of his movies.
Committee Member #2: Yes let’s complain about that.
4. Yeti bowl (Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor): This weird moment comes when our heroes are followed by soldiers wanting to kill them. Their Asian friend then yells some Chinese and then Yetis come down and help them. They even play football with the soldiers. Now the Yetis came out of nowhere and the whole fight is pretty stupid. Ironically the same day I saw this I saw Harry and the Hendersons. This is a movie where Yetis (or Bigfoot) is sweet and wouldn’t hurt a fly.
3. Mutt king of the Apes (Indiana Jones: Kingdom of the Crystal Skull): I’ve talked about this movie a lot telling you about the Alien filled ending that would’ve ruined the film but the film sucked without it. This film is filled with moments that are qualified for this list but I would have to say that the weirdest moment is during the car chase scene in the jungle where Mutt is caught on a vine and monkeys then come down. When this happened I thought “Oh we’re going to learn that Mutt’s scared of monkeys seeing that his father’s afraid of snakes and his grandfather’s afraid of rats”. But no instead Mutt swings through the air like Tarzan with the monkeys following him.
2. That stupid twist (Hancock): Hancock is the type of movie where the plot changes midway through the film and it’s like you’re watching two movies. Usually these types of films are good but Hancock was an exception. The first half was bad but not horrible but then the twist happened. The twist is that Superheroes are built in pairs and if the pairs are near each other they start losing their powers. That twist is very stupid and complicated and ended up starting the downfall of this film.
1. Thank the lord he can drive (Twilight): The weirdest moment of the entire year of films in 08(at least in the films I’ve seen) is a very subtle but it defies the laws of science. It happens when Edward’s leaving Bella’s house and he’s driving down the road while Billy (who hates Edward) is driving past him giving him the evil eye. The first thing wrong with this scene is the expression on Billy’s face, it’s hilarious. The second thing wrong with this scene is the fact the Billy is in the driver seat. What’s wrong with this? Billy is crippled. Crippled means you are paralyzed from the waist down which means you can’t push the pedals making this scene impossible.That’s it for the Sabertooth Awards. Hopefully we’ll have a great film year this year and hope that I do another Sabertooth Awards next year.
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