As I said before one of the hardest things to do while writing a story is ending it, so it’s understandable when a movie screws up at the end. But when you screw up the ending you might have screwed up the entire movie. For my 6th entry in the 2009’s Sabertooth Awards I’m going to list the 7 worst movie endings of 2008. I’m looking for endings that are clichéd, doesn’t fit the plot, and have bad morals.
7. Missed a perfect joke opportunity (Horton Hears a Who): based on the popular Dr. Seuss book; Horton Hears a Who is about an elephant named Horton (Voiced by Jim Carry) who hears a tiny world that’s living on a spec on a clover. On the world there’s Whoville (yep the same one that got Christmas stolen from them by the Grinch) led by their Mayor (voiced by Steve Carrel) who has an emo son named Jojo. The climax comes at the end where a kangaroo is trying to destroy the clover because it’s absurd that there’s a tiny world, so the people in Whoville have to break the sound barrier so they know that there really is a world there. All the whos are yelling but then the Mayor gets his son Jojo to go and yell. I know what’s going to happen he’s going to have a really high pitched voice and it’s going to be hilarious. So Jojo yells and he doesn’t have a high pitched voice in fact he’s voiced by Jesse freaken McCartney. His voice still breaks the sound barrier but you have to think “What the hell you just missed a perfect joke opportunity”. Not only would Jojo having a high pitched voice not only would’ve been hilarious but it would’ve made sense that his voice would’ve broke the sound barrier.
6. What just happened? (Appaloosa): I saw this movie recently and I have to say that this is a movie that would’ve definitely made my worst movie list if I saw it before I made it. Appaloosa is about two lawmen who clean up the town of Appaloosa, New Mexico. They get trouble by a rancher played by Jeremy Irons. At the end Jeremy Irons gets pardoned by the President of the United States so one of the lawmen just go into a bar asked him to a shootout in the street. The lawman wins and he rides off into the sunset. Two things crossed my mind one was “What just happened?” two was “oh how clichéd”.
5. Sing an explosive song (Don’t Mess with the Zohan): Don’t Mess with the Zohan is about an Israeli counter terrorist who fakes his own death so he could do hair in New York. His past ends up catching up with him when an Arabian terrorist comes and finds him. But soon the Israeli and Arabs living in New York have to work together against a New York business man trying to kick them out. I liked the whole enemies working together against one big enemy but it’s soon ruined when one of the guys the New York business man hired gets some explosive and a cage of puppies and threatens to blow up the puppies. So Zohan and his rival named the Phantom sing some Middle Eastern Hymn which ends up blowing up the block and saving the puppies. Now this movie was intentionally stupid but this part was just plain retarded.
4. Mummies were soon discovered in Peru (Mummy 3): The Mummy 3’s climax was very clichéd and isn’t really anything special but what I want to talk about is at the very end when the comic relief character named Jonathan is getting in a taxi. Jonathon says that he’s tired of mummies so he’s going to where there are no mummies, he’s going to Peru. This joke was funny but then some words appear on the screen saying “soon after Mummies were discovered in Peru”. That is completely stupid. It’s like when someone tells a joke and then explains why it was funny; it doesn’t make it funnier it just ruins the joke.
3. We wanted to see you get killed a second ago but now we like you (Drillbit Taylor): If you read my blog so far then you would know that I absolutely hated Drillbit Taylor and along my line of hatred is the ending of Drillbit Taylor. The ending has the nerds that were being picked on going to go fight the bullies. Everybody in their school is there to watch them get beaten up. So as we might suspect the nerds beat the bullies with the help of Drillbit Taylor and after that happened the nerds now enjoy their new popularity. Now this ending has poor morals because it teaches you that you have to do something great for people to like you. The only thing good about this ending is the fact that it means that the film is over.
2. You have to take the fall Batman (The Dark Knight): The Dark Knight is a well written movie but the ending to it is one of the worst of the year. What happens is that Harvey Dent who is now Two-Face wants to kill Gordon and his family, but Batman comes just in time and tackles Harvey Dent making him fall to his death. Gordon says that they can’t tell the people that Harvey Dent is a murderer because it will make people lose hope so Harvey’s crimes are pinned on Batman. So let me get this strait, instead of having the people learn that a harmless late attorney was a murderer you’ll instead have them learn that a guy who lurks in the shadow, beats people to a pulp, has a plethora of fighting tools, and is very much alive is evil. Yeah no wonder you’re the commissioner.
1. Aliens ruin everything (Indiana Jones: Kingdom of the Crystal Skull): You’ve probably already heard about this ending so let me explain in short. The crystal skull belongs to aliens so they go into the temple return the crystal skull and the aliens come back to life, kill the Russians, and go with their spaceship into space. Dumbest ending of the year.
7. Missed a perfect joke opportunity (Horton Hears a Who): based on the popular Dr. Seuss book; Horton Hears a Who is about an elephant named Horton (Voiced by Jim Carry) who hears a tiny world that’s living on a spec on a clover. On the world there’s Whoville (yep the same one that got Christmas stolen from them by the Grinch) led by their Mayor (voiced by Steve Carrel) who has an emo son named Jojo. The climax comes at the end where a kangaroo is trying to destroy the clover because it’s absurd that there’s a tiny world, so the people in Whoville have to break the sound barrier so they know that there really is a world there. All the whos are yelling but then the Mayor gets his son Jojo to go and yell. I know what’s going to happen he’s going to have a really high pitched voice and it’s going to be hilarious. So Jojo yells and he doesn’t have a high pitched voice in fact he’s voiced by Jesse freaken McCartney. His voice still breaks the sound barrier but you have to think “What the hell you just missed a perfect joke opportunity”. Not only would Jojo having a high pitched voice not only would’ve been hilarious but it would’ve made sense that his voice would’ve broke the sound barrier.
6. What just happened? (Appaloosa): I saw this movie recently and I have to say that this is a movie that would’ve definitely made my worst movie list if I saw it before I made it. Appaloosa is about two lawmen who clean up the town of Appaloosa, New Mexico. They get trouble by a rancher played by Jeremy Irons. At the end Jeremy Irons gets pardoned by the President of the United States so one of the lawmen just go into a bar asked him to a shootout in the street. The lawman wins and he rides off into the sunset. Two things crossed my mind one was “What just happened?” two was “oh how clichéd”.
5. Sing an explosive song (Don’t Mess with the Zohan): Don’t Mess with the Zohan is about an Israeli counter terrorist who fakes his own death so he could do hair in New York. His past ends up catching up with him when an Arabian terrorist comes and finds him. But soon the Israeli and Arabs living in New York have to work together against a New York business man trying to kick them out. I liked the whole enemies working together against one big enemy but it’s soon ruined when one of the guys the New York business man hired gets some explosive and a cage of puppies and threatens to blow up the puppies. So Zohan and his rival named the Phantom sing some Middle Eastern Hymn which ends up blowing up the block and saving the puppies. Now this movie was intentionally stupid but this part was just plain retarded.
4. Mummies were soon discovered in Peru (Mummy 3): The Mummy 3’s climax was very clichéd and isn’t really anything special but what I want to talk about is at the very end when the comic relief character named Jonathan is getting in a taxi. Jonathon says that he’s tired of mummies so he’s going to where there are no mummies, he’s going to Peru. This joke was funny but then some words appear on the screen saying “soon after Mummies were discovered in Peru”. That is completely stupid. It’s like when someone tells a joke and then explains why it was funny; it doesn’t make it funnier it just ruins the joke.
3. We wanted to see you get killed a second ago but now we like you (Drillbit Taylor): If you read my blog so far then you would know that I absolutely hated Drillbit Taylor and along my line of hatred is the ending of Drillbit Taylor. The ending has the nerds that were being picked on going to go fight the bullies. Everybody in their school is there to watch them get beaten up. So as we might suspect the nerds beat the bullies with the help of Drillbit Taylor and after that happened the nerds now enjoy their new popularity. Now this ending has poor morals because it teaches you that you have to do something great for people to like you. The only thing good about this ending is the fact that it means that the film is over.
2. You have to take the fall Batman (The Dark Knight): The Dark Knight is a well written movie but the ending to it is one of the worst of the year. What happens is that Harvey Dent who is now Two-Face wants to kill Gordon and his family, but Batman comes just in time and tackles Harvey Dent making him fall to his death. Gordon says that they can’t tell the people that Harvey Dent is a murderer because it will make people lose hope so Harvey’s crimes are pinned on Batman. So let me get this strait, instead of having the people learn that a harmless late attorney was a murderer you’ll instead have them learn that a guy who lurks in the shadow, beats people to a pulp, has a plethora of fighting tools, and is very much alive is evil. Yeah no wonder you’re the commissioner.
1. Aliens ruin everything (Indiana Jones: Kingdom of the Crystal Skull): You’ve probably already heard about this ending so let me explain in short. The crystal skull belongs to aliens so they go into the temple return the crystal skull and the aliens come back to life, kill the Russians, and go with their spaceship into space. Dumbest ending of the year. 
No comments:
Post a Comment