Movies of the Month: June 2009

The Summer movies this year seem to suck. Okay they aren’t all horrible, but the bad movies outnumber the good. I’m still trying to decide if this summer is worse then 2007 (which was a summer of disappointment). Let’s just dive into this no matter how bad it is.

Land of the Lost: Let’s start this off with a terrible TV shoe adaptation. This movie is very morbid. It’s not funny, the story denies any structure, and the jokes are so disgusting that it is borderline R. There were some clever moments in this film but those moments are few and they’re not worth it for most of the painfulness brought on by this movie.

1 1/2 out of 5 stars

The Hangover: Here’s one of the few good movies I saw this month. Sure it’s disgusting at times but that’s what you would expect from a movie called “The Hangover”. It’s about a group of guys who have a bachelor party in Vegas and wake up the next day not remembering what happened. The groom is also missing so they have to go look for him, and since neither they or audience know what happen the previous night the most random stuff happens because of what they did that night. It’s raunchy but I don’t mind raunchy just as long as it’s funny. If you don’t mind raunchy either then you should definitely see it because it’s hilarious.

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Year One: This could’ve been the new “History of the World Part 1” or “Life of Brian” but instead become a huge mess of a film that needs to be forgotten and buried. This had bad editing, poor jokes, and like Land of the Lost it was borderline R without humor. I even caught a couple of plot holes. Some of the scenes are just pointless but you could argue that the whole movie was pointless. It’s not as bad as “Land of the Lost” but it’s still pretty bad and a must avoid film of the summer.

1 1/2 out of 5 stars

Transformers Revenge of the Fallen: I actually liked the original Transformers when it came out in 2007. The sequel on the other hand is a step up from the other bad movies but it still is pretty bad. My main problem with this film is that it doesn’t have much of a plot just explosions. Despite what people say the original Transformers actually had a good plot that takes many twists and turns. It also has the problems that many sequels have which is they do a horrible job introducing new characters. The new characters just seem to come out of nowhere from the new autobots to a new dog that the Witwickeys apparently got over the two year gap. There were also a lot of stupid moments and bad jokes. At least the film was entertaining so it didn’t feel like a complete waste of time.

2 out of 5 Stars

Away We Go: It’s nice to see an independent film once in a while. Independent films don’t have big explosions, or road tripping cavemen to pull you in. They just have a story, and that’s all it needs. Away we go is a nice little film about this couple who are expecting a baby, so they travel around the country to find out where they need to live. Sounds sort of sappy but this is actually a very funny movie. It doesn’t rely purely on sexual humor to get you laughing, it just funny. Seeing all the bad big budget films I seen this month I think this film is a nice break from the many fails that have happened this summer.

4 1/2 out of 5 Stars

Possible Best List Nominees: The Hangover and Away We Go.

Possible Worst List Nominees: Land of the Lost, Year One, and Transformers.

Movies of Next Month: July 2009

The Summer Movie season is almost at its halfway point and so far I’m not that impressed with the big budget Hollywood flicks (you will hear more about that in the next article). Will the 3rd month of this so far poor season add to the pain or will it be the season’s redeemer? Let’s look at these films and be a judgmental as possible. Otherwise, my 13 worst film list would fill up faster then it already is.

Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (Release Date: 7-1-09): There’s a couple of things that concern me about this film. The first is the fact that this is a sequel to a sequel, and as you know those are rarely good. Secondly, the characters from the second Ice Age film made it in the sequel, and  those characters were annoying. Third, they decided to make a female Scrat which I think they shouldn’t do. Overall, unless this film got a high percentage on the tomato meter; I’ll probably skip it. 

Public Enemies (Release Date: 7-1-09): Now this is more like it. This film has looks to have a lot of things that make it look like an interesting film. It takes place in the past, the protagonist is a villain, and it’s shot in a unique style. This will probably be good and seeing all the bad films I saw lately, I need something incredible.

Bruno (Release Date: 7-10-09): I haven’t seen Borat but from what I heard it was disturbing but funny. Bruno seems more disturbing then Borat but just as funny. It might be interesting to see a comedian prey on innocent civilians but I’m still deciding whether I should see it or not.

I Love You, Beth Cooper (Release Date: 7-10-09): This film looks bad. It looks like a blend of teen humor with loony tunes humor. A crossover I want to avoid.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (Release Date: 7-15-09): I was actually not mad about the 8 month delay of Harry Potter, it gives more time for this filmmakers to improve the film. The last one was pretty disappointing, but I’m not concerned about this one seeing that it would be hard to screw up Half Blood Prince ( Order of the Phoenix was a good books but Half Blood Prince was a lot better). I also like the fact that it's shot in a stylish manor so the film would earn art points. The only thing that really concerns me about this film is the fact that it is rated PG. I also tried to look up it's runtime but couldn’t find it. It better be more then two hours long.

  G-Force (Release Date: 7-24-09): This looks stupid, I’m just going to leave it at that. Secret Agent Guinea Pigs just looks like a bad movie waiting to happen. It has an extremely small chance of being good but I already watched Race to Witch Mountain and Inkheart, so I think I saw too many stupid kids movies this year and I don’t want to add to the list.

Aliens in the Attic (Release Date: 7-31-09): This looks even dumber then G-Force. I personally think that Disney should just stop putting out these dumb films and continue to ride the coattails of Pixar like they’ve been doing. Sure the Princess and the Frog look good, but other then that  stop making films.

Funny People (Release Date: 7-31-09): This looks funny. Unlike other Apatow films this looks like it actually has a plot and isn’t depending purely on sexual humor. Might be good.

 

I guess it looks like this Summer movie season would continue to suck. But there seems to be some gems in between the crap.

8 Worst TV Shows of the Season 08-09

Summer is the season for beaches, vacation, and summer blockbusters. With all those activities for people to do that means that most of the shows already had their season finale. Because of that I decided to list my 8 least favorite shows from the past year of television. Some of the shows are overall bad (and cancelled) and some were good shows that just had a bad season.

8. Family Guy: Family Guy is overall a hilarious show, but you wouldn’t have known that if you’ve only watched the last season. The seventh season of Family Guy was just a huge fail. The unfunny episodes outnumbered the funny ones, and the plots of the episodes just have no thought in them. It seems that the show’s creator Seth McFarlane might just be losing his steam. Evidence of this is Seth’s online series Seth Comedy which is also more miss then hit. The funny thing I’ve noticed is when there was a funny Seth Comedy there was a funny Family Guy episode on that Sunday.

7. Gary Unmarried: This isn’t a horrible show it just isn’t that original and funny.The characters and story of this show is pretty much the same thing that most people been watching for the last twenty years. Whenever I watched this show I would thought that I could be watching a better show or do something better. I just can’t believe that this hasn’t been cancelled but My Name is Earl a funnier and more creative show has.

6. Saturday Night Live: Sure there were funny sketches such as the Political satire ones during the election but I do have to say that the show is going down the crapper. This is like the fifth or sixth season of SNL that has sucked. Most of the sketches aren’t funny, most of the cast members aren’t funny, and most of the guests aren’t funny. Even Weekend Update not funny anymore. If you watch an episode of SNL you might get one funny sketch. With unfunny sketches, and long commercial breaks SNL is one of the worst shows to watch live. My recommendation is to just wait till the sketches are posted on Hulu and watch the sketches that seem like they would be funny (Save a lot of time).

5. Lost: This isn’t the worst season of Lost (that honor goes to season 3) but this was a pretty bad season. The plot has gotten more confusing as ever, some of the characters have developed into unlikable characters, and some of the dialogue and events are just stupid. The worst part is that I think that they were just making the story up as it goes along.

4. True Beauty: It’s ironic that a show about inner beauty can be so shallow. The show is about taking these “Beautiful” people and putting them in a house together making them think they’re in a beauty contest but they’re actually being monitored by the judges to see who has the greatest inner beauty. Sounds like a good concept but they just ruined it. They didn’t get the most beautiful people they could find they instead found the people with the biggest egos. Also the whole show seems so fake and superficial (ironic). Thankfully I stopped watching this show after a few episodes, unfortunately it’s still on the air.

3. I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!: This list was originally going to be a top 7 list but then I saw this show and decided to make it a top 8 to include this abomination. “I’m a celebrity get me out of here” is pretty much celebrity survivor except it comes of as entertaining as one of those survivor specials. Half of these celebrities I only know from the soup and the rest I don’t know at all. I personally think this show should’ve been called “I cause controversy, please exploit me”. I mean they have Heidi & Spencer of the Hills (The reality show that has been accused many times for being scripted), Sanjaya the guy on American Idol that stayed on too long, and they even have the wife of the governor who tried to sell Obama’s seat in the senate. It makes me lost faith in humanity knowing that somebody like Spencer exists, but it makes me lose more faith in humanity that people actually watch him and like it. The funny thing about this show is that the celebrities are complaining about being in the jungle, but the jungle doesn’t even look real; it looks like movie studio set and seeing the IQ of some of the celebrities I wouldn’t be surprised if it is. This show is also surprisingly boring, I mean in Survivor they’re good at editing to add in suspense and have interesting challenges, this show not so much. Overall I just have to say that I’m a viewer, cancel this show.

2. Superstars of Dance: This one is probably one that most people forgot about or never even heard of. Superstars of Dance is a universal dance competition. I’m not that into dancing but I thought this might be interesting and educational on the dances across the world. What we got was a bunch of unintentionally funny dances that half of them I could do (and I can’t dance). Also the host female host is one of the most bland hosts I’ve seen in my life. The judges aren’t that good either having the American Judge be like the male version of Paula Abdul. It was only suppose to be on for a few weeks and that’s how long it ran, but I doubt it will come back.

1. Crusoe: This show is stupid, cheap, and cheesy. The special effects are so bad that you just can’t help but to laugh. In fact this show is very easy to make fun of. In a way this show is so bad that it’s good, and if it’s that bad then it definitely deserves to be #1.