13. Hellboy 2 The Golden Army: I really don’t hate this movie or think it sucks it was just a bit of a disappointment. It wasn’t nearly as good as the original, had bad dialogue, and had a bad plot. It was still an enjoyable film but it could’ve been a hell of a lot better.
12. Don’t Mess with the Zohan: I honestly think that this film is a little underrated. Sure it wasn’t great but it wasn’t a suck fest like everybody says it is. It did get a little worse every minute that passed but it had some funny jokes. People say it was silly but really that’s the point.
11. Quantum of Solace: This is the first film that I reviewed on my blog and I found it quite disappointing. In short it plot was hard to follow; it had some stupid moments, and all around was inferior to its predecessor Casino Royale. I didn’t expect it to be as good but I expected better.
10. X-Files I want to believe: I’m not an X-files fan but I wasn’t taken to see this movie by my brother and dad who are fans. I thought this film was boring, stupid, and had a hard to follow plot. Apparently if you are X-files fans then you really hate it more because my dad and brother really hated it why I just found it to be a bad movie.
9. Chronicles of Narnia Prince Caspian: This is probably the first overrated film on my list. I went to see this with a group and I was the only one in the group that hated it. The reason I hate this film is that they changed a lot from the source material to make it a clichéd peace of crap. I didn’t like that book that much but I like it a lot better then the movie. For some reason the focus is now on Susan all the freaking time. I don’t remember it being as much about her in the book. I’m not exaggerating at all the whole film is centered on Susan. Susan even creates some useless drama that made the film so stupid. I can see why Disney dropped the franchise.
8. Twilight: Here’s another film I already reviewed on my blog. It is based on an overrated novel that enchanted the minds of teenage girls. Now while it seems that the majority loves the book the majority hates the movie. The funny thing is the movie’s actually is very faithful to the book the only changes were improvements. I think that the reason people loved the book is that it was so addicting (I wouldn’t of read the sequels if it wasn’t) while the movie isn’t addicting so they realize that it was actually a bad story.
7. Transporter 3: I thought this would suck and I was right. If you want to know more about why it sucked then check out the review of it on my blog.
6. Superhero Movie: I saw this movie for free because somebody posted it on YouTube but let’s play a cash game here. If I earned a quarter for every time this movie made me laugh outside of the commercial then I would almost earn a dollar. If I had to pay a dime for every time this movie attempted to be funny but failed then I’ll probably have to fork over my twenty. I know that this is probably the best of the movie movies and it seemed that they were really trying with this one. There were no pop culture jokes, it didn’t go off subject, and its story isn’t half bad. So to the movie movies makers; make your next one like superhero movie but make it funny.
5. Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D: This film is bad. It had inconsistent characters, bad special effects, and a crap load of clichés. What do I mean by inconsistent characters? I’ll tell you, the boy in this film starts out like as a stereotypical moody teenager, but then he’s a stereotypical wide eyed kid, but then he’s a moody teenager again, then he’s a wide eyed kid again, then he’s a moody teenager, and so on and so forth. I think they were trying for a round character but accidentally came out with Schizophrenic character. Another character that is inconsistent is the token female. Now she’s the daughter of a scientist from Iceland. Does she have an Icelandic accent? No. But she has an American accent, then an Irish accent, then a Scottish accent, a French accent, a British accent; in fact the only accent she doesn’t have is Icelandic. As for the special effects the T-Rex in Jurassic Park (which came out 16 years ago) looked a lot better then the T-Rex in this movie. As for the crap load of clichés I don’t even want to go into them. Just avoid seeing this film at all cost.
4. Hancock: This film was a huge disappointment for me. The film had no funny jokes outside of the commercials, constant stupidity, and of course that twist that damn twist. I do have to say that I loved the action scene at the end where Hancock is fighting off escaped convicts. Good action scene, bad movie.
3. The Mummy Tomb of the Dragon Emperor: I liked the first mummy but didn’t like the second one so I didn’t have any expectations for the third. I still saw it in a dollar theater and I have to say that it was better then I thought it would be but it was still bad. First of all; Jet Li’s talent was wasted. Throughout the entire movie he only used his kung fu once at the beginning but throughout the rest of the film he either uses on of the elements or transforms into a goat creature. Now people don’t watch Jet Li because of his on screen personality (because he has the on screen personality of cardboard) they watch him because of his kung fu. A lot of people complained about them changing the actress that played Eve O. Connor. I know the reason that they changed the actress is that the actress that played Eve O. Connor before looked too young to be the mother of a guy in his early twenties. There is an ironic scene where Eve is doing a book reading. Apparently she turned her previous adventure into passion novels. At the book reading one the women there ask if the woman in the novel is based off her. Eve answers the question saying “no, she is a completely different person”.
2. Indiana Jones Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: Aliens ruin everything. The ending of this movie made me completely hate it. Is that the only reason I hate this movie? No. There are about a hundred other things wrong with this film. Such as the scene where Mutt is swinging through the vines like Tarzan, the part where the character who we don’t know is resigning (how sad), and of course the infamous “Nuking the Fridge” scene. This film sucks, the story sucks, the characters sucks, and the ending really sucks. This is the only film probably ever where I will be sitting there thinking “Please don’t let this be about aliens, oh please, oh please, oh please”. I considered putting this at the #1 spot because this film completely embarrasses a great franchise while the other movie will be forgotten. But I decided that the next film just sucks so much that if I didn’t put it at #1 it would be an injustice to humanity.
1. Drillbit Taylor: You’re probably surprised by this choice probably because a lot of people don’t remember this crapfest, but I do unfortunately. If I had to describe this film with one adjective then that adjective would be “dull”. Everything about this film is dull; the characters are dull, the acting is dull, the story is dull, the jokes are dull, and even the food is dull (this film is so dull that it made my candy taste like cardboard). I knew this film would be bad and the only reason I saw it was that there was a friend who lived out of town came in town and wanted to see a movie. The only movies out were Drillbit Taylor and Superhero Movie. I let him decide and he picked this crap. This movie is the first (and hopefully last) film that made me want to leave the theater. In retrospect this was actually a good film year. Not as much crap came out this year as it did last year. I’ll post my best movies of 08 soon.
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